by Mrs Swirl
Okay this is fun as hell! I enjoy these private conversations within myself – I am enjoying this evening with my honey at the club, now I am feeling my liquor and this music is vibing, the people are sexy as hell, all of this is a recipe for a “sex-a-pade”! It’s about to get lit!
I love to see my honey interacting with people in this lifestyle. In vanilla life I am the extrovert and he is the introvert but in this world the roles seem to be reversed sometimes. Look at how he is talking to this beautiful woman next to us, laughing and joking, that whisper in her ear. Seeing her giggle to his candor should make me feel he is using his suave ways but at this moment it is making me feel a different way…within my head I only see three letters right now, WTF is he doing? I’ve seen this man fucking other women and it has done nothing but turn me on. Am I feeling the J word? Am I jealous? What is wrong with me? Oh hell, Is she rolling her body on him right now? This is it, I feel what everyone has told me about, a damn trigger now how the fuck do I not lose my shit?
This is about as real as it gets for almost any couple in the swinging lifestyle. Inevitably, someone or everyone is going to be triggered. For people not in the lifestyle, many think it is only intercourse that would cause the trigger. Seeing your partner of so many years having sex with someone else can do just that, trigger, or it can rouse excitement. Compersion and jealousy are seeming opposite feelings on the outside but upon deeper reflection can be rooted from the same place.
Many times it is not the sex itself that causes the trigger, it can be the giggles, the way a body rolls, the moans of ecstasy. It is the way we respond to these triggers that will determine how happy you will find the swingosphere, your play land.
There are many ways to be successful in your bond while navigating the swinging lifestyle. Today you can find help by utilizing professional services by licensed lifestyle therapist, listening to podcast, or reading experiences but no matter which method you use, communication is the best way to learn and discuss and realign ourselves to match each others journey.
What did I do when I felt this trigger? That is a story for another day…stay tuned. But if you are reading this, don’t lose your shit. Ask yourself, does this need to be a conversation we have right now? If so, how can I bring it up without causing conflict or stopping all this fun we are having tonight? Is it something I can mention when we debrief at the end of the night? Or maybe it is something I that I have to realign within myself. There is no one answer to this, as each of our makeup is different and what is moving each of us to feel the way we are is different. You and your partner must use the knowledge you have of each other and make the appropriate decision.
At the end of the day, no one experience in the swinging lifestyle is worth the pain or regret that could potentially linger and negatively affect our relationship with our spouse. When couples have conversations and remember that, the swinging lifestyle is a continuing pleasure that keeps their relationship strong.
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